Your mind will eventually release it one way or another.

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Photo by Daniel Lincoln on Unsplash

When I was in college, I nearly had a mental breakdown. What saved me was a few trippy episodes of regressing to my childhood.

Before I realized, the giggles echoed. My ear to ear grin of a 7-year-old boy brightened the room. The problem? I was a 20-year-old man on the brink of mental breakdown.

Why would a 20-year-old man regress to a child-like state? I experienced an episode of age regression.

I was likely on the brink of a mental breakdown and didn’t even know it.

“If the problem can be solved, why worry? If the problem cannot be…


How the sick find peace and happiness amid a health crisis

COVID, Christmas, Santa, Blessings, Gifts, Presents, Hospital
COVID, Christmas, Santa, Blessings, Gifts, Presents, Hospital
Photo by Alicia Slough on Unsplash

People think Christmas on the hospital’s COVID unit is sad and dreary. Oh, how sad the patients must be, right?

Well, those sick in the hospital on Christmas Day still find reasons for gratitude. Oddly enough, a common cause for thanks is their health.

Even patients with mild COVID wonder if death is upon them. We’ve all heard the stories which could come right out of a suspense thriller about suffocating, heart attacks, being denied care repeatedly.

Many of the severely I’ll patients fought off the angel of death. Those who saw the reaper at their doorstep used their will…


How showing appreciation will make you popular and change the standards at work.

Vibe, culture, standard, work, workplace, appreciation, compliment, karma
Vibe, culture, standard, work, workplace, appreciation, compliment, karma
Photo by Ali Yahya on Unsplash

Have you ever been having a bad day when one of your customers, coworkers, or your boss gives you a really well-placed compliment? Well, that happened to me twice in one day.

We work so hard day after day, feeling unappreciated. We make sacrifices to save others from too much work, and it goes unnoticed. Sometimes, it feels like you’re the only person wearing yourself down.

My Monday was one of those days. My body dragged because of the few hours of sleep I got. The anxiety of the coming work week kept me awake much of the night. This…


I’m grappling with my writing process, and I just can’t break free. I looked in my past to find the tools to overcome.

Imprisoned, struggle, slump, resilience, consistent, goals, schedule, support system
Imprisoned, struggle, slump, resilience, consistent, goals, schedule, support system
Photo by John Salvino on Unsplash

I’m knee-deep in a slump. I’m grappling with my writing process, and I just can’t break free. I looked in my past to find the tools to overcome. Over 14 years of struggle, I’ve learned a thing or two about resilience.

“The best way out is always through.”

Robert Frost

I struggle with my goals just like you. My struggle bus is as yellow as the rest of them. But, I have struggled since 2006. My nickname is resilience.

What’s weird is I have been writing a reasonable amount. I left my pieces incomplete and unpublished.

For example, I binged…


The thousands of people with covid have stories. Here’s how I met Dave.

COVID 19, Coronavirus, Who gets covid, social distancing
COVID 19, Coronavirus, Who gets covid, social distancing
Photo by Nathan Anderson on Unsplash

COVID is out of control. Remember the faces of those hundreds of people who die from COVID each day. Picture a person, not a number. I know I do.

In the middle of a hellish treating COVID patients, I discussed resuscitation planning with the father of my 30-something-year-old patient. Let’s call him Dave. Through the previous night, Dave’s oxygen levels plummeted. We started high levels of breathing support. Somehow, he was still fully awake and alert.

Dave was diagnosed with a mental delay at birth. Despite his slow responses, Dave was very high functioning and was able to exhibit logical…


Certain COVID patients lie in bed, staring at an open coffin leaning against the hospital room wall.

Covid 19, coronavirus, covid deaths, what does covid feel like
Covid 19, coronavirus, covid deaths, what does covid feel like
Photo by Rhodi Lopez on Unsplash

Somehow they know the grave is calling.

Each of them was breathless and had an itchy chest discomfort despite all objective measures looking good.

Let me attempt to illustrate with a long-winded simile.

Picture this. You’re out on the lake boat with a few friends, enjoying the warm weather, sipping beer. The sun reflects off the water, shining in your eyes, blinding you momentarily, but the boat hits a small wave. You stumble, but instead of regaining your footing, you trip, falling face-first into the water.

You start swimming toward the surface when you feel a small nip at your…


Having someone who believes in you is enough to get you past the demons of your past.

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Photo by note thanun on Unsplash

We all have childhood demons. They whisper in our ear, convincing us that we have nothing to offer the world. It is hard to shut it out. But, having someone who believes in you is enough to get you past the demons of your past.

Years ago, I cared for a man in his 30s. He was deep into alcoholism. The bottles troubled him so profoundly that when empty, he turned to hand sanitizer, mouthwash, and cough syrup.

He says he drinks due to stress and the overwhelming feeling of being inadequate. He began telling the tale of his upbringing.


Regardless of the size of those first steps, don’t let anyone define or downplay your courage.

Why is courage important. What is courage. Examples of courage. Types of courage. Courage sentence. How to develop courage.
Why is courage important. What is courage. Examples of courage. Types of courage. Courage sentence. How to develop courage.
Photo by julio andres rosario ortiz on Unsplash

Your first victorious steps of courage are yours to be celebrated. You may have openly admitted that you’re unhappy in your marriage, or you left a toxic job to chase your dream. Regardless of the size of those first steps, don’t let anyone define or downplay your courage.

For example, it takes courage for me to meet new people. I’m terrible at it. My antisocial behavior embarrasses and infuriates my wife. I don’t know why, though. Most people surrounding us at that party were strangers to me.

So what if she shares a bit of genetic code with them? My…


Sometimes it is better to give up and renew your purpose.

When to quit, knowing when to quit, when is it ok to quit, learning when to quit, how do you know when to give up
When to quit, knowing when to quit, when is it ok to quit, learning when to quit, how do you know when to give up
Photo by Jackson Simmer on Unsplash

In medical school, I thought I wanted to be a urologist. Those are the doctors who talk sperm and urine all day. I spent months spending time with the urologists. I’d see clinic patients, help with surgeries in the operating room, and even did presentations on exciting topics.

During my time with urologists at my home hospital, my car broke down. The engine went out entirely and had to be replaced. Along with new tires and suspension, it cost me $3000!

Then, during the next month, while visiting a different hospital, I was supposed to study for a mandatory medical…


When I say it, I’m deathly afraid that tomorrow, you could be a memory.

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Photo by Nicolas Nieves-Quiroz on Unsplash

When you say, “I love you,” what do you mean? Does it signify a long-term romantic commitment? Do you blurt it out in the whirlwind of infatuation? Do you say it to your family who you’ve known your entire life?

When I say I love you, it means you are important to me. It means you’ve supported me through tough times, and though nothing is temporary about our relationship, I’m deathly afraid that you could be just a memory tomorrow.

Most people don’t know this about me, but I have been affected by deaths due to gun violence.

The fall…

Doc Jay, MD

🩺Doctor by trade 📝Writer by habit 💁🏽‍♂️Helper by obsession. Man of 1,000 failures. Self Improvement blog: Thedoctorsorders.info

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